Enjoy these articles...

Self-Defense Smarts for Kids
How to Avoid the Barnum Effect
How Martial Arts Can Help Prevent Bullying
Through Parental Commitment, Children Win!
The Four Keys to Success
ADD & Martial Arts
Who Am I? I Am Habit!                                                                            Get BACK!

Self-Defense Smarts for Kids

Public concern is increasing regarding the tragedy of missing children. Not all missing children are runaways; some children just seem to vanish without a trace. We cannot always be with our children, so we must count on their intelligence and good judgment to protect them. At our school, we teach children to be alert to the world. We give them knowledge to cope with the times they may find themselves in danger. We don't necessarily expect our eight-year-old martial artists to defend themselves against adult attackers, but through martial arts training, children can learn to greatly reduce their risks for becoming victims.

It is important that children learn how to spot dangerous people and the lures they may use to entice them. Child abductors seek easy targets, and children who appear alert are less likely to become victims. Predators look for children who walk to school alone, take shortcuts, or seem to be alienated from other children. Quite often they watch playgrounds and observe children's play habits. Alert your children to avoid the dangers of vacant lots, alleyways, etc., on their route to and from school.

Martial arts is one of the best activities to increase your child's confidence and self-esteem. These important characteristics will identify your child as alert, ready, and not an easy target. Self-defense is a skill that goes well beyond kicks and punches. Children should be aware of the dangers, not afraid. Martial arts can help achieve that goal. As important as martial arts training is, you also must take an active role in protecting your children. Set aside a time to talk to your children about dangerous people and strangers. Gear the talk to your children’s' level of understanding. Be straightforward without frightening the sensitive child. Be willing to talk and listen to anything your children may want to report. Never underestimate their fears or concerns. Children should trust their feelings and know that you are always concerned for their safety. Explain who a stranger is.

Children should never enter a stranger's home, get into a stranger's car, or take gifts from a stranger. Explain when a child has the right to say NO to an adult. Be aware of anyone who pays an unusual amount of attention to your children. Listen to your children if they do not want to be left alone with someone. Ask them to tell you about anyone who asks them to keep a secret or about any new adults they meet. Be sure your children know what to do if you are separated while shopping. They should not look for you: they should go to the nearest clerk and ask for help! Be cautious when you select someone to care for your children. Meet them and check their references. If children must be left alone, explain the proper way to answer the telephone and the door. Teach your children their full name and yours, phone number with area code, and address and zip code. They should know how to make local and long distance calls; use a pay phone; call home and law enforcement departments; and dial "0" for operator or 911 in an emergency (if applicable).

Mentally note the clothes your children wear EVERY DAY. Avoid putting names visibly on clothing or belongings. Know where your children are at all times. Never leave them unattended in a public place, car, or store. Children should play in supervised areas only. As a family, choose a secret code word. Instruct your children never to go with anyone who does not know the code word. Stress that the word is a secret. Change it frequently. Ask the school or day care center to notify you immediately if your children are absent. Inform them of the people authorized to pick up your children. Have the same person pick up your child every day if possible. Encourage your children to use the buddy system. Advise them what to do if a stranger follows or approaches them. Get to know neighbors and establish "safe homes" where children can go for help.

With martial arts training and good parental education, we can greatly reduce the risk of your child being abducted. But unfortunately, nothing is a guarantee. That is why it is important for you to be prepared in case your child is ever missing. Keep current files on your children. Include recent photographs (update four times a year for children under two), physical description, information about outside activities (for example teams with contact names, music teacher's telephone number, etc.), and friends, names, addresses, and phone numbers. Obtain a set of footprints and fingerprints through local law enforcement or qualified professionals. Maintain dental or medical records. The saying "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" certainly applies here. Prepare your children at home, and through their martial arts training, to avoid being victimized.
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On Suckers and “Personality Profiles”:
How to Avoid the Barnum Effect

How well does the following paragraph describe you?

Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and  reserved. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. You pride yourself on being an independent thinker and do not accept others opinions without satisfactory proof. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety, and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.

When people believe that this description was written just for them—the result of a personalized horoscope, “personality profile,” or hand writing analysis—they all say the same thing: “It’s me! It describes me exactly!” Why should this be so? The answer is that this description is vague enough to apply to almost everyone, positive enough to please almost everyone, and flattering enough to get almost anyone to accept it (French et al., 1991: Snyder & Shenkel, 1975). People are not so quick to accept the following “personality profile,” however:

You are a sullen, hateful slob. You dislike people and most people dislike you too. You are usually nasty, cruel, and calculating. You never think for yourself but steal other people’s ideas. Once you’ve made a decision, you stick with it even when it’s wrong.

Studies repeatedly find that people are more willing to believe flattering statements about themselves than statements that are scientifically accurate (Thiriart, 1991). In addition, as research shows, the more effort people invest in getting a horoscope or profile, the more likely they are to believe the results— even when the identical results are given to everyone. If they must pay money for a profile, take the time to write away for it, or give detailed information about themselves, they are more likely to believe the profile is “eerily accurate.” A French psychologist once advertised himself as an astrologer. In reply to the hundreds of people who wrote to him for his services, he sent out the same vague horoscope. More than 200 recipients sent him thank-you notes praising his accuracy and perceptiveness (Snyder & Shenkel, 1975).

Personality quizzes in magazines are also based on a simplified idea of personality and they rarely allow people to distinguish a personality problem from a temporary difficulty. Let’s say you total up your score on a personality quiz and discover that you are a “worrier.” Is worry part of your personality, or do you have four exams in three days and an employer who is giving you a hard time? Some of these pop personality quizzes can really make you worry about yourself.

This is why many psychologists worry that too many people are falling prey to the “P. T. Barnum effect.” Barnum was the great circus Showman who said “there’s a sucker born every minute.” He knew that the formula for success was to “have a little something for everybody” -- which is what unscientific personality profiles, horoscopes, and handwriting tests have in common. To help you avoid the Barnum effect, research offers a few strategies:

• Beware of all-purpose descriptions that could apply to anyone. We know a married couple who were terribly impressed when an astrologer told them that - "each of you needs privacy and time to be independent” along with “but don’t become too independent or you will lose your bond.” Such observations, which play it safe by playing it both ways, apply to virtually all couples.

• Beware of your own selective perceptions. Most of us are so impressed when a palm reader or horoscope gets something right that we overlook all the descriptions and predictions that are just plain wrong.

• Resist flattery. This is the hard one. Most of us would reject a personality profile that described us as being nasty, sullen, and stupid. But many of us fall for profiles that tell us how wonderful and smart we are, especially if they seem objective or “scientific.” back to top

How Martial Arts Can Help Prevent Bullying

According to a nationwide study of children in grades six through ten, nearly one of every three US children is affected by bullying. Bullying is defined as verbal or physical behavior designed to disturb someone less powerful. Attacks can include spreading rumors, making sexual comments or gestures, or belittling someone about religion, race, looks or speech, in addition to the commonly recognized behavior of hitting, slapping, or pushing. As reported by Lindsey Tanner of the Associated Press, researcher Tonja Nasel of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development states, "it's a problem that has been in a lot of ways ignored for quite a while." When you consider that bullying has been connected to major incidents such as the March 2001 slaying of two students in Santee, California and the 1999 massacre of 13 by two suicidal students at Colorado's Columbine High School, it's difficult to maintain the long-held attitude that "kids will be kids."

To deal with these issues, a growing number of schools across the country have instituted "bullying intervention programs." It is clear that a solution to the bullying problem is going to take active community involvement by various groups including teachers, students, parents and perhaps the Martial Arts community.

Martial Arts can help deter bullying among children in two direct ways. The first is to help those who would normally be subject to bullying threats. The study reported that children who were targets of bullies were lonelier and had increased difficulty in making friends. The Martial Arts can help develop self confidence and self assurance in dealing with negative interactions with peers. Bullying is instigated against those who are "weaker" than the perpetrator. A self confident child is usually overlooked for easier prey.

The second way that Martial Arts can help is by working with children who are either bullies or are likely candidates to become bullies. The study revealed that children who did the bullying were more likely to have poor grades and to smoke and drink alcohol. Martial Arts can help children deal with emotional troubles that can prompt inappropriate behavior (such as smoking and drinking) and actions against their peers. Martial Arts training combines physical and emotional outlets while teaching discipline and positive characteristics which are lacking in members of this group.

It is often difficult to know in advance which children will be bullies or which will be victims of bullies, so that you can intervene to improve the quality of their childhood experience. That is why it is so important that you have chosen to have your child participate in Martial Arts training. But we all need to do more. We need to involve children while they are young and peer pressures are minimal. Let's give all children a stress free environment in which to learn and develop social skills that will be needed to succeed as adults through Martial Arts training! back to top

Through Parental Commitment, Children Win!

As parents, you are responsible for keeping the commitments and obligations of your children. Commitment provides structure and guidance for your children to achieve their goals. Without commitment, your children are disadvantaged in developing important habits such as responsibility, goal setting, and perseverance that are essential to success in all aspects of life. Parents set the example that their children will follow from the time they are very young right through young adulthood. You, as a parent, carry the responsibility of ensuring that your children have your support and commitment to help them complete what they start and to be accountable to a standard of excellence.

You may start your children with basic commitments such as brushing their teeth and explaining the benefits of having healthy teeth. You will guide them to brush their teeth after every meal and/or before bedtime. Eventually, your child will no longer need to be told, as their own good habits will be formed through your commitment. However, you will still be there to remind them periodically by asking "Did you brush your teeth?" These reminders establish your ongoing commitment to your child's healthy teeth. Did you make your bed? Did you do your homework? Did you clean your room? Did you take out the garbage? Did you remember your lunch? Do you have your books? These are among the many questions parents come to memorize over the years, with the hope of instilling positive habits in their children. As they mature, your children will take over the responsibility of meeting daily challenges without your intervention.

Your children's martial art training is no exception. You are responsible for their class attendance and for helping them to meet their class requirements. These important parental commitments are crucial to allow them to progress and achieve their martial arts goals. Sometimes martial arts parents are faced with situations that challenge those commitments. How you handle these challenges will determine your child's success or failure while instilling other important habits, good or bad, that are integral to their success in life.

We realize that you only want to do what is best for your children. As martial arts instructors we also share in this objective. When situations arise that may challenge your commitment to bring your children to class we strongly feel that their absence works against their martial arts goals which in turn works against life's goals. To help you make the right decision (the best for your children), we offer a resolution to a potential scenario that can face a martial arts parent.

What should I do if... my child wants to skip a martial arts lesson? When children suggest skipping a class, parents often worry if the child is losing interest. In most cases, your child isn't telling you that they don't enjoy class (they're always enthusiastic after taking a class) but rather that they would prefer to seek immediate enjoyment. Children are often focused on the present and are not able to project their thinking into the future and weigh the potential for future rewards. (For example, if you offered a child a dollar now or five dollars next week, most children would ask for the dollar and receive immediate gratification.)

Parents often ask children to make choices that are difficult and create conflict. A child may resist turning off the TV or video game (immediate gratification) to go to martial arts class (delayed gratification). A child may enjoy training, but may still complain and demonstrate other negative behavior because martial arts is introduced as a deferred (and therefore less attractive) alternative to what they are currently doing.

To deal with this response, parents can set limits on activities ahead of time. For example, a parent might say, "You may watch TV for one hour", rather than: "Turn off the TV set now, it's time for your martial arts lesson". Once limits are set, martial arts can be encouraged as a positive activity. Your child will not feel that they are sacrificing one enjoyable activity for another. Equally important, when your child is attending class with enthusiasm, explain that you will not accept any complaining that interferes with their commitment to their martial arts program. If they think they have a specific problem, they should speak to their instructor before or after attending class. By doing this, you have provided a strategy for resolving any future problems that aren't directly related to their class, and you have given them a grown up approach to addressing any real complaints.

As your children mature, they will be better able to understand delayed gratification and its benefits. Rewards such as improved confidence, self-esteem, increased attention span, self defense skills, and better school grades are the result of consistent actions from children, parents, and instructors. Children often experience plateaus in their training and periods of time they do not feel motivated to train. When parents and instructors work together, these feelings often pass and lead to attaining higher goals. All roads aren't smooth, but with parents in the driver's seat, children can fulfill their commitment to martial arts training and martial arts can fulfill its quest to reward students with all its benefits.
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The Four Keys to Success

According to a Fortune magazine poll a few years back, there is one consistent reason why nearly 80% of people are fired from their present position. Can you guess what the reason is? Lack of skill? Showing up late? Stealing paper clips? The number one reason people are fired is their lack of ability to get along with others in their work environment. In essence, the problem is not skill-based as much as it is personality-based. Does this mean that 80% of the people who are fired are rude, tactless, abrasive, impatient screamers who drive their team nuts? Sometimes, but not always, and probably not even a majority of the time.

When you're describing "the lack of ability to get along" you're talking about a very wide range of actions that could fit this description. However, for this 700-word article, I'm going to suggest to you the four things that, if you or your family make part of your work and life habits, will keep all of you in the top 20%. These sound amazingly simple, but give me a chance and see if, in the end, you and others are doing all of them. That is the key. You have to do them all to gain the maximum long-term benefit of their collective power to influence. Also, consider how few people you know do them all. I assure you those who do are some of the most successful people in life or business that you know.

   Do What You Say You Are Going to Do
When you do what you say you are going to do, you are elevated into a truly elite group of people on the personal and professional level. Do you know what society calls people who do what they say they are going to do? Dependable. Those who don't are undependable. How would your family describe you?

   Show Up and Start on Time
Whether it's personal or professional, this is a habit that pays huge results over time. As martial artists, we trumpet discipline as a benefit of what we teach and learn. The first place you can demonstrate your own discipline is to start and end your projects on time, without fail. How many family, social, or business events have you shown up to on time only to sit around and wait for others until the event can start? Too many, I think.

On a personal level, I have a friend who feels showing up 15 to 30 minutes late is fine. He doesn't understand why we get irritated waiting for him at dinner or to meet to go somewhere. Do you know what that makes his reputation among his friends? Undependable. Does it matter if you think you are dependable while the rest of your circle feel you are not? No. Perception is reality. As long as your actions convey that you are a flake, you are a flake.

   Say "Thank You"
From the beginning of time, showing gratitude and living a life of gratitude has been taught as a key character trait. Yet, I am amazed on a daily basis and on many different levels the lack of appreciation or gratitude people show one another. Is there anyone in the world who does not like to be appreciated? Who does not value the words "thank you"?

Have you ever walked into a store and just had the counter person stare at you, waiting for you to start the exchange of words? Have you purchased something and the person selling it to you did not show any appreciation that you spent your money with them? Or, even worse, you say thank you and they say "no problem." Of course, it's no problem. Taking my money is never a problem for anyone.

   Smile
Have you ever heard the line, "He's got a great frown?" Me neither. There is no such thing as a great frown or scowl. I know martial artists who, in all the years I've seen them, have never smiled once. Lead with a smile. Smile easily. It will make you and everyone else around you feel better.

   Give More Than You Promise
See? I said there would be four key habits in 700 words. I'm demonstrating one of the most important of all by giving you five key habits and 18 extra words.
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ADD & Martial Arts

By Dr. Ruth Peters

The following is adapted from the National Association of Professional Martial Artists' World Conference General Assembly Presentation of Dr. Ruth Peters. For over twenty years, Dr. Ruth Peters has specialized in treating children, adolescents and families. Her focus has been upon teaching parents how to control their difficult children, as well as how to motivate kids to reach their academic potential.

One of the solutions I attempt when working with ADHD or children with other behavioral problems is to send them to a martial arts school. It's one of the first things I do rather than fill them up with Ritalyn.

But, let me tell you what you owe me, the teachers, preachers and the other folks who are sending these kids to you. We demand and we expect that you will teach our children focus. I don't personally care if they learn to defend themselves. Other people do, but I want you to teach my kids how to focus, how to manage their anger and how to develop self-discipline. Then if they learn self-defense, that's just the icing on the cake.

Hopefully, with the focus, anger management and self-discipline, they won't be "in your face" kids. They will learn their boundaries and they won't be the subject or the brunt of bullies because you've taught them to be good people. Now that's what I want.

Does Martial Arts Help?
People ask me, "Does martial arts work?" Well, the answer is sometimes. I'd say about 50% of the time it works and 50% of the time it doesn't. And you know why... I've come to find out it's because of the personalities of the instructor and the child. Ineffective teachers who are not compassionate and kid 'smart' knowing kids' human nature; or have firm, strict rules, can actually damage a child’s composure and self-esteem. So the goal, I believe, is for those children to attain and maintain respect not only for their teachers but also their parents.

 Who are these kids that I am sending to you? They are Attention Deficit kids and uncooperative kids. Anybody here know an ADHD kid or an uncooperative kid? I do.

Did you know that about 10-15 percent of our population has been diagnosed with having ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)? There are more boys than girls with ADHD. The ranges go from 4 to 1, to 8 to 1. Personally, I think it's about 4 or 5 boys to each girl. You'll see that the girls are the more inattentive, spacey, quiet, and less disruptive and the boys, of course, are the more hyperactive.

In the U.S. population, about 10-15% have ADHD, but in your school population the percentages will be higher. In a class of 15 students about 7 students have already been diagnosed with some form of ADHD. Plus you're going to have some kids who have not been diagnosed yet. One of the top characteristics you're going to see in these kids is defiance. A lot of the times they are defiant because they have grown up being put down by adults and other kids. When they get in trouble, they are criticized and they are extremely defensive. Anybody ever notice that?

Classes of ADHD
The Bible of psychology and psychiatry is called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, or DSM-IV. It classifies three types of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:

The Hyperactive/Impulsive Children - This is pretty easy to identify. Like when a kid comes into your office and your stomach starts churning? These are the kids that are moving all over the place. The average age for kids diagnosed in this class is 5-7 years old.

The Inattentive Children - The average grade that inattentive kids are diagnosed is fifth grade. Why? Because these kids are not causing problems. They're just sitting there. They're staring into space. And do teachers really get upset by quiet kids who are sorta' zoned out? No. They're busy grabbing Johnny and putting him back in his seat.

Hyperactive/Inattentive Children - These poor critters are a combination of the first two types. Running through the hyperactive/impulsive characteristics, you have to have at least six of these:

--Fidgets with hands or feet
--Squirms in seat
--Leaves seat in classroom when expected to sit
--Runs about or climbs excessively
--Has trouble engaging in activities quietly
--Acts as if driven by a motor
--Often talks excessively
--Often blurts out answers before questions are completed
--Often has difficulty waiting their turn
--Interrupts or intrudes on others

These are the characteristics of the inattentive type:
--Fails to give close attention
--Difficulty sustaining attention
--Doesn't seem to listen when spoken to directly
--Doesn't follow through
--Difficulty organizing tasks or activities
--Avoids engaging in tasks that require sustained mental effort
--Loses things necessary for tasks
--Distracted by extraneous stimuli
--Forgetful in daily activities

If you do not treat ADHD, I will guarantee you that 4 out of 5 of these will happen:

--Poor social adjustment
--Behavioral problems
--School failure
--Drop out/delinquency
--Possible substance abuse (the greatest percentage of teenagers who are substance abusers have ADHD that is not being treated)

How to Treat ADHD Children

--Behavior management
--Medication
--Social Training
--Academic remediation

The first thing I recommend to mom when she brings Jason into my office is martial arts training. And folks, whether you like it or not, all of you are therapists. Like it or not, your role for Jason is that of a therapist. You are no longer just an owner or an instructor. You are a therapist in addition to that.

Social training teaches these kids that we reward and acknowledge appropriate social behavior. It does happen once in a while, so you've got to catch them while they're being good.

I have watched Melody Shuman's Little Ninjas tapes, and she does a great job getting her kids to line up. They're not running around bumping into each other. There is no comparison between her stuff and a regular kindergarten or first-grade class. In kindergarten you say "line up kids," and what do they do? Everybody's gotta' be first! Then there's the real shy one that has some other issues who's in the back. Then of course there's Jason over there who wasn't listening, so he's not lining up at all.

But what you see with Melody's kids as you watch the Little Ninjas program is that they're all standing there. They've got body space. They've got a box around them in space, and that's one of the things that you, as therapists, are expected to teach these kids that I send to you. They are keeping their hands and feet to themselves.

Five Tips for Working With Kids' Human Nature

1. Use intermittent reinforcement - Pretend that you have stopped at a red light that you stop at every day. It's a really long light and you are the first one there. Do you kind of have a feel for how long you're going to be sitting there? Yes.

What do you do? You know it's going to be about seven minutes because of the way your city's traffic control works. Are you sitting there looking at that red light? No. When do you first look up at that light to see if it's turned green? Six and a half minutes. Our human nature is to sit there until we get that "feeling" that it's about to change. We're not going to look up and down and up and down. We wait until we think that the time has come. Now that is one type of reinforcement. The reinforcement is the green light. Now, imagine you're at a new light that you've never been to and you don't know if it's a quick light or a long light. Are you going to sit there and take out your makeup and wait six and a half minutes before you look up? No. You're going look up and down and up and down.

How does this analogy relate to our ADHD kids? If we are predictable, are they going to be paying attention the whole time? No. They're going to be dazing out. Intermittent reinforcement, when you don't know exactly when that traffic light is going to change from red to green, keeps our attention. One of the hardest things for ADHD kids to do is to give you their attention. One of the tricks to working with ADHD kids is to be unpredictable. Call on them intermittently and you will get much better attention.

2. Effort Praise vs. Person Praise - I work for the Today Show and I get to pick what I do. It's really cool. Anytime I can, I will do effort praise vs. person praise. There's a woman named Carol Zweck at Columbia University who did this huge study for about a year. She found out that if you want children to apply the most effort, be the most perseverant, give the most attention to a task, then raise them without saying, "Oh, Johnny, you're so good. You're so smart. You're beautiful. You're handsome. You've got big muscles. You've got a high IQ.” When this type of person gets into a challenging situation, they give up.
So tell the ADHD child, "I like your effort. That was a great try. You kept going even though it didn't work out. I like the way you didn't give up." Studies show that these are the kids that rise to the challenge. These are the kids that make a decision not to quit every single time.

So if you want Jason to keep going, give him effort praise and not person praise. Use frequent feedback.

3. Intense Consequences. - We have found that kids with ADHD don't necessarily hear you the first time. They need intense consequences. Try to use incentives before punishments. Non-verbal signs like a noogey to the head (not too hard) or a ‘thumbs-up’. Or verbal approval: "I like it when you try hard." Try to praise what they are doing well. Correct, and then zap in there with praise.

4. Clickers and counters - If you're working with a particularly tough kid who needs a lot of reinforcement, you can put an umpire's clicker in your pocket and you tell the kids, "I will click once for every time you do something correctly. If you get at least ten good clicks, then we are going to give you a sticker at the end of class." Stickers are wonderful things. I use this technique in my practice all the time.

One of the things I suggest is that in your school store, reward the kids who get enough stickers or points by allowing the child to pick something out. Rewarding kids with tangible things is very, very motivating.

5. The Child's Success Team - To encourage success as an instructor, I would suggest that you form a team with the parent and the child. It has to be sincere to work. I would give very frequent feedback to parents. Again, a token system at the school store and praise the parents for their efforts in getting the kids to practice and to the school for class.

My goal as a psychologist is to help kids build self-discipline. That is how they're going to develop good character and be successful as adults and parents themselves. M. Scott Peck, and many of you have read his book, The Road Less Traveled, says that, "self-discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. Without discipline, we can solve nothing, and with some discipline we can solve only some problems. With total discipline we can solve all problems."

Your job as therapists is to help Jason feel good about himself, to use these tips, to work with kid human nature, and to help these kids learn self-discipline and to generalize it to the home and to the school so that we build a better bunch of kids for tomorrow. back to top

Who Am I? I Am Habit!

I am your constant Companion.
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do you might just as well
turnover to me and I will be able to do them
quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed-
you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want
something done and after a few lessons
I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great people;
and alas, of all failures, as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine,
though I work with all the precision
of a machine plus the intelligence of a person.
You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin-
it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me,
and I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I? I am Habit!

- Anonymous

“We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

- Aristotle

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Get BACK!                                                                                          By Karen Eden  

Late one night as I was just about to slide my key into my front door lock, something told me to turn around. Doing so, I discovered that a man had quietly approached while my back was turned and had his foot on the bottom step of my front porch. When he saw that I was aware of his presence, he asked me for the time; an innocent enough request, but accompanied by another step towards me. Without hesitation I said, "Get back." Instead of stepping back off the porch, he kept coming towards me and repeated his request. I demanded more loudly, "Get BACK!"  

When he still kept moving to wards me, despite the fact that he could have gotten what he said he wanted perfectly well from the base of the steps, I finally yelled full force while stomping loudly and putting my hands up in that international sign language which means "STOP." He immediately backed down and walked quickly away.  

I felt proud that I had averted a potential physical confrontation using those most basic skills: voice, stance, body language and sheer determination. I believe that the most successful fight is the one you don't have to fight. I was struck by how similar the whole experience was to the basic "personal space" exercise that the martial arts teaches in the very first week, where a partner walks toward you and you practice making her stop in her tracks with forceful voice and body language. We instructors always say, "This is an exercise; it probably won't happen just like this on the street." But it did for me, which is a testimony to the power and importance of those basic skills. Self-defense is so much more than physical technique. back to top